Thursday, December 22, 2005

Christians against Christmas

Jesus is indeed the reason for the season. According to Bill O'Reilly, the entire concept of Christmas is under attack by evil liberals who hate Jesus.

But -- believe it or not! -- the most compelling attacks on Christmas have come from Christians. The Jesus Is Lord page makes an irresistible argument, which we will repeat in large measure here:

Since the earliest of times, trees, especially green evergreens, were worshipped by the pagans. To them it represented life and freshness. Since it was EVER green, it always had life. The trees were worshipped as symbols of life, fertility, sexual potency and reproduction.
Oh no! Sex!!
These pagan rituals of worship were then brought into the homes and set up as idols, with the belief that it would give men a heightened potency of sexual virility to procreate new life for their harvest god in the new year. The evergreen tree represented a "PHALLIC" symbol (the mans sexual organ of reproduction) set in an upright position.. Any wonder why people hang round balls on a tree? Please do not be offended. This pagan ritual was to say the least, very profane in the sight of God!

Y'see, the Bible does talk about Christmas trees. They're bad news. Here's Jeremiah 10:1-5:
"Hear ye the word which the Lord speaketh unto you, o house of Israel. Thus saith the Lord, learn not the ways of the heathen and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the ax. They deck it with silver and with gold: they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.
That tears it. I'm throwing out my Christmas tree RIGHT NOW! You better do so as well, or you could BURN IN HELL!

Satan knows exactly what he is doing and sad to say, so many Christians have no idea. After these trees were brought into the houses, worshipped and set upright, then gifts are now brought before them and what must YOU do when setting a gift under the tree? You must bow down before it to lay your gift.
See? You were worshipping a stupid tree and you didn't even know it. Also, you were showing off your butt-crack. Very undignified.

When this season began, a Yule Log was lit and put into the "fire place" (hell?) where the same log was used for all 12 days to keep the fire lit or to re-light it. Since Jul was the pagan god of sex and fertility, it does not take much to see what this also represented. You got it! The lit Yule Log represents again a "phallic" symbol, and being a log and lit, it represented a good omen for heightened sexuality for the coming year. It was the shadow and type of a burning lust of a man to fuel the fires of sexual potency to reproduce fertility. When one sends "YULETIDE GREETINGS", they are basically saying, "I greet you with this flaming log to fulfill a year of sexual virility.

How sick, blasphemous and perverted.
This argument makes perfect sense to me.

Mistletoe was sacred to the druid priests and was worshipped by them to cast spells. If held over the head of a woman, she was powerless to resist, and any and all could have their way with her sexually.
Huh. Does this trick still work?

Now we come to the clincher:

SANTA—with just the changing and moving of one letter, you will have SATAN! That is right—Satan, the devil. Just move the "N" to the end and S A N T A becomes S A T A N…Is that unbelievable or what? Is this by chance or coincidence? Not after seeing everything you have read so far on "Christmas". And what does Santa travel in? A sleigh (slay) and where does he come into the house? DOWN a very dark and sooty place called a chimney, right into the FIRE!!!

CLAUS---in this name, by using the same letters, you have LUCAS concealed. Now Lucas is the root word for LUCIFER!! Now, in just this creatures name, and that is exactly what he is, you have SANTA CLAUS---SATAN—LUCIFER. Do you honestly want to try to explain this away?
How could I? How could anyone? The logic is impeccable.

But our friend, being young in the Lord, doesn't take the argument far enough. Yes, it is obviously the case that anagrams are an irrefutable clue to a person's true agenda. But what happens when we search for anagrams in other names?

For example: PAT ROBERTSON.

A slight rearrangement of these letters gives us "TOP BONER STAR." An obvious reference to his youthful appearances in pornographic films.

Actually, this name gives us many filthy anagrams, perhaps the worst of which is the directive "Son, probe tart!" An obvious reference to pedophilia and whoredom.

Or take the name JAMES DOBSON. A slight re-arrangement of letters gives us "MOJO BADNESS" and "Demons jab so!" Obviously, he is tormented at night by the demons he worships.

Finally, consider GEORGE W. BUSH. Move just a few letters, and what do you get? An obvious reference to BDSM sex with "Jeff Gannon": "He buggers -- OW!!"

But that's not all. We also get "U.S.-Hebrew Gog." Those of you familiar with the Book of Revelation will see in these words a clear sign that the Last Days are upon us.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fabulous. You forgot to mention the conection between "St. Nick" and "Old Nick." Another obvious proof.

5:48 PM  

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